Calculating the recession

The progress of the recession/depression in London can be calculated from behaviour of shopkeepers.



1 - Shopkeeper restricts his/herself to one word. If on phone, hand is held out to take dosh without interrupting voluble conversation in Urdu/Tamil etc. Situation: Money washing around in tidal waves. (Pre-recession fool's paradise. Thank u, Mr Broon & left-wing (!) meeja.)



2 - Vocabulary expands to 2 words. (No, not f@@@ off). Situation: Slight reduction in money supply.



3 - Shopkeeper manages hello or goodbye, but not both.- Recession definitely on the way.



4 - Shopkeeper manages both, but in heartbroken little voice. Diagnosis: Recession ist angekommen!



5 - He not only greets you, but asks how you are in friendly way. Things are really bad.



6 - He gives clear signs of recognising you (you've bin in the place 100 times.) Shop closes down next week.